December 2010
1 post
October 2010
1 post
No Wonder I'm Not Friends with Cute Boys.
Me: (Walking to class) ...
Cute Boy 1: Then what?
Cute Boy 2: She just started giving me head!
Cute Boy 1: Excellent!
Me: (Walking to class, disillusioned) ...
January 2009
2 posts
Destiny?
Me: Weird that I'm learning stuff YOU teach.
Dad: It is probably all back there in your brain.
Dad: I used to practice my lecture when you lay in your crib.
Me: It's like you were trying tog et me to be a biochemist straight from Mom's belly.
Dad: Right.
Dad: A plot.
December 2008
5 posts
Winter Break Accomplishments.
1) Sleep/eat. 2) Watch Beauty and the Beast. 3) Sleep/eat. 4) Learn how to tie a tie. 5) Sleep/eat. 6) Watch Mulan. 7) Sleep/eat.
This is probably unhealthy.
A Dedication to Jen.
I would like to dedicate an entire post to my neighbor, Jen Wang.
If we fail college, I would like everyone to know that I will be opening a massage parlor with Jen (as her faithful apprentice, of course).
Jen Wang, you are a wonderful person. You must share your talent with the world.
Britney Spears.
Is it a bad thing that I like her new album?
The Things You Learn in College.
Wednesday was a very enlightening day. I decided to take a bathroom break between anthropology and Japanese, so I came back to the dorm and made my way into the first bathroom stall. There was a toilet seat cover already there, as if someone changed their mind about taking a toosy (as Val would say) and left it there for me to enjoy. Either way, I noticed that, for nineteen years, I’ve been...
October 2008
1 post
Some Wise Words.
Something every college student wants to hear: “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.” - Lin Yutang. Is chem a nonessential? …If only.
September 2008
1 post
August 2008
1 post
July 2008
1 post
Rice Chex > Corn Chex.
This morning I was forced to consume a bowl of Corn Chex because, sadly, I finished off the last of the Rice Chex the previous day. I need to get to Bashas before my cereal infedelity becomes widely known. “There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.” Alice Thomas Ellis is obviously a very bitter woman. Either that, or she just wanted to make...